By Harry J. Friedman Founder/CEO, The Friedman Group

Buyer's remorse: bitter regret or guilt over a purchase.

Somewhere in between the time that they hand you the money (or sign on the dotted line) and the time they get to your front door, a strange phenomenon occurs. This phenomenon has no prejudice; it strikes both young and old, men and women. It is called buyer's remorse. It's the ever perplexing, ever challenging dilemma that afflicts shoppers with thoughts of doubt about the purchase they've just made.

I believe that everyone experiences buyer's remorse with every single purchase to some degree. Think about it. The minute they put the club sandwich you ordered for lunch in front of you, you wish you'd ordered the burger. You buy a car, a house, a boat, anything major. You love it, but as soon as you sign on the dotted line, doubt pops up in your mind. You should've got the other one; you should have waited for interest rates to go down; you should have negotiated more; you should have consulted your father, mother, brother, etc.

Just as buyer's remorse has nothing to do with what you buy, it has nothing to do with how much you spend. You buy a new wallet. You pay for it, and walk out of the store. The minute you leave the store, it begins. You should have looked one more place. Should you have gotten the one with softer leather? Does it look cheap? Will it hold all of your credit cards? Did you really make the right choice?

Let's examine some of the reasons why buyer's remorse, which often results in returns or cancellation of purchases, occurs.

Do You Like It, Too?

People need approval for everything they do in life, including their purchases. I'm the worst. If people don't notice that I've bought something new, I make a point of showing them, especially the expensive things. I rationalize like crazy to the person I show it to. "It was a lot of money, but I think I got a great deal on it, don't you? I mean, I've been working hard. I deserve to treat myself, don't you think? I haven't really bought anything significant for a long time. Really, I haven't. Don't you think it's great? I really think so."

The fact that I solicit compliments from my friends makes me the ideal customer. I gain the approval I need to be content with my purchase. However, not all customers have the incentive to justify what they've purchased to themselves. Many customers will passively test their purchase by waiting to receive a positive reaction to it. This can be disastrous. For example, a woman buys a new dress, and of course, wears it to work the very next day. She hopes that everyone at work will notice it is new. After all, she works with the same people five days a week. No one compliments her. In fact, no one even asks her if it's new. Not only will she never wear the dress again, but she will resent the salesperson who sold it to her and the store. Or, worse yet, she'll return the dress vowing never to shop in that store again.

But if someone at work does notice it and pays her a compliment, she wears it again. If everyone notices it and compliments her, she's likely to wear it every other day for the next six months. As a salesperson, you run the risk that the customer will come down with a case of buyer's remorse if they do not receive any compliments reaffirming their purchase.

People are sometimes so paranoid that even a passing comment can enhance the doubt. A woman in our office bought a ring. As I looked at it, I slipped it on my pinkie finger and said, "This would make a nice man's ring." She didn't wear it the next day. She told me she got nervous that she had really bought a man's ring and the salesperson hadn't told her. When she finally did put it back on, three other women in the office were all fussing over it right away. Good-bye buyer's remorse. She hasn't taken it off since.

Knowing that someone else likes what you bought makes you feel confident and happier about your decision. Haven't you experienced this, especially following the purchase of something rather expensive, something you had difficulty deciding upon? Admit it-everyone likes to have their decisions confirmed-even you!

You simply can't assume that someone else will compliment and thereby confirm your customer's purchase. For one thing, more people live alone today than ever before. You have to take responsibility, otherwise your customers may begin to doubt whether the purchase they made was a wise one. Hence, after you make the sale, it is up to you to solidify it.

You have the unique opportunity to be the first person to let customers know that they have made the right choice. Take advantage of it!