It's easy to be charming to pleasant customers. Responding to positive comments comes naturally to almost everyone. Even a smile and a head nod will suffice. But when a customer has a problem that needs to be addressed, it's as if someone has pressed the mute button. We panic; we fidget; we say "Um" and "Hmmm" a lot. Sometimes we really take a wrong turn and get defensive. This never works. Why do we do it?

It's tough to admit, but it seems to be human nature. We're still mammals with instincts. Porcupines shoot many quills at innocent victims who seem to be threatening. Skunks sometimes spray far too much territory because something completely harmless frightens them. How many times have you jumped a foot when someone speaks to you when you're preoccupied and not aware that they're in the room?

Our defense mechanisms aren't terribly selective. We react. We're programmed to be on guard to a certain degree. This is not a bad thing, but it's something to be aware of in your professional life. When you are dealing with the public-especially in the retail environment-it is essential to resist the urge to get defensive when someone is in a fighting mood. When you're getting paid to make sales and meet customers' needs-whether you're the top-book salesperson or the owner of the company-your only wise move is to learn to utilize your human gift: the power of reasoning. And it only takes one reasoning session to come to this conclusion:

Grumpy or even downright angry customers are not enemies! They're customers! A customer is someone who is a potential or actual buyer. The goal is to have them make a purchase and continue to patronize the store. If they stay mad, that's not going to happen-ever!

Even when the customer is trying to pull a fast one or is being completely irrational, it's possible for you to remain calm and express empathy. Why not try it? It's your only hope.

The best technique to employ initially is the "tell me more" method. When a customer is fired up and venting their anger, let them get it out. Take them seriously, and listen without trying to interrupt them and defend the store or yourself. Often, after a good rant, a customer will calm down all on their own and soften up when they see that you really care about how they feel and are concerned on their behalf. "I know it's not your fault" is a common winding down statement.

Once they've stated their case and cooled off a little, you have a golden opportunity to be a hero. Often your store policies will allow you to instantly rectify the misfortune, so play it up. Apologize profusely and sincerely and tell them you're going to "make it right.' Tell them how important it is to you and the store that they are completely satisfied. Don't just tell them they can return or exchange the merchandise, save the day!

If you have to enforce a policy that makes the customer unhappy, you can still do so with compassion: "I feel very bad about your new watch falling into the garbage disposal, I know I would be devastated if it happened to me. I wish there was some way the warranty would cover accidents like that, but it just doesn't. We can't replace your watch, but let's explore the options..."

Unfortunately, customers have a much better memory for bad experiences than they do for good experiences. Display the skill of a true professional, and meet conflict with compassion and a desire to resolve the problem in such a way that lets the customer know that you and the store will always do the right thing to satisfy them. It won't happen without you. The angry customer will never turn themselves around. They need you to show them that they made the right choice when they walked into your store.