"The most critical step in selling may very well be your beginning dialogue." I have heard little and read little on the subject of opening the sale. It seems like every lecture or book on selling seems to talk about closing or objections and glosses over what I feel is the major downfall in retail selling: opening the sale.

The game in selling is to not stimulate a negative response from your customers by saying something that causes it. I have asked this question in thousands of lectures and seminars on selling: "How many of you have had a bad experience with a salesperson, and how many of you generally don't like salespeople?" Every hand goes up, every time. People do not like salespeople. (Doesn't it make you feel good to know people don't like you and they don't even know you?) Here are some of the reasons salespeople are not liked:

1. Couldn't find one when they really needed one.

2. The salesperson sold them something they didn't need or sold them the wrong product.

3. The salesperson was too slick or pushy.

4. The salesperson didn't know enough about the merchandise.

5. You needed more time to make a decision and the salesperson kept pushing for the sale.

6. The salesperson was indifferent to you as a person.

It's a shame, but all of these examples are true and evident every day in the world of retail selling. You don't need to be qualified or have a license to get on the floor and bring havoc to the lives of people. And because these things are true, it makes opening the sale that much more difficult. Your job now becomes one to get past all of that resistance so you have an opportunity to develop a relationship and make a sale.

The Primary Goal of Opening the Sale Is to Get Past Resistance

What happens when a salesperson greets a customer with negative feelings about salespeople stored in the customer's mind? Do you think you can predict the response in 90% of all these contacts? You bet you can: It's "No thanks, I'm just looking." It's amazing how many salespeople hear this and never seem to figure out how to get beyond that reply. I'm not talking about how to handle it once you've heard it; I mean how to avoid getting such a response to begin with. I was in a store recently where the salesperson said, "Are you looking for anything in particular, or are you just looking?" Talk about sleeping on the job! I had the irresistible desire to smack him across the face and tell him to wake up!

Establish a Person-to-Person Relationship Rather than a Salesperson-to-Customer Relationship

This is the exact opposite of what I refer to as clerking. Just think of the last time you were in a store. Can you remember the kind of relationship you had or didn't have with the salesperson? Or how about doing this exercise: write down the stores and the salespeople you can name that you go back to time and time again because of the personal relationship and the terrific service.

Here are three guidelines to follow for creating your opening dialogue. Follow these, and you'll be well on your way to achieving the primary goal of opening the sale: getting past the customer's resistance.

1. Opening lines must have nothing to do with business.

Business conversation sets you up as a salesperson right away with the customer. Since our goal is to establish a person-to-person relationship, talking about business right away prevents achieving that goal.

2. Opening lines should be questions to encourage conversation.

It is more important to get the customer talking than for you to carry the conversation yourself. The more the customer talks, the more comfortable they'll become with you. But simply asking questions does not guarantee a conversation. If you ask close-ended questions (ones that can be answered by a yes or no), your chance of building rapport is slim. Try using open-ended questions that begin with who, what, where, when, why or how. Look at this example:

A closed question:

(S) Is it still busy in the mall? (C) No.

Even though the salesperson asked a question, this certainly would not be considered a conversation. Let's rephrase the same question:

An open question: (S) How's the traffic in the mall? (C) Well, when I got here this afternoon it was like a zoo, but it's started to thin out.

This salesperson stands a much better chance of encouraging the customer to start talking. They will also stand a better chance of gaining the customer's cooperation when the time comes to talk about business.

3. Opening lines must be creative, unique or different enough to cause a conversation.

Even if you get the customer to start talking you may sound phony or "plastic". Common or uninteresting opening lines aren't enough to get someone into a personal conversation. Your opening line should be customized for every different customer.

Here are just a few of many different signals to watch for to help you personalize your remarks:

Children: Whenever customers come in with children, you have an obvious subject for conversation. Don't just comment on how cute a kid is, but find out their age, if they're always this good natured and if they sleep through the night. Be careful not to guess a baby's gender; the odds are that you will be wrong half the time.

Personalized Clothing: If someone comes in wearing a college or professional team shirt, ask if they went to that school, what the campus is like, did they watch the game last night or what they think of the team this year. Do not express your opinion about the school or the team.

Current Events: Are exciting things happening in the world that most people know about? Use the latest crisis, space probe, visit from a foreign dignitary or geological event such as a volcano or earthquake in your opening line. When choosing a current event though, make sure that it is not too controversial.

Holidays: If a holiday is approaching, ask customers what their plans are. If the holiday just ended, ask if they did anything special.

Local Happenings: Is there a concert going on in the park, an exhibit at the local museum, a craft show in the mall? Why not talk about it for a while?

One Hundred of Your Own Sit down, and write at least 100 of your own opening lines. If you have trouble getting started, I've provided a list of opening lines below. This list is best used as a take-off point. No one can come up with your opening lines. You have to develop your own. They have to be by you, because you may not be comfortable saying what someone else would.

1. (Walking by with several small boxes in your hand) Could you do me a favor? Could you push that top box back a little? You know, when one falls they all fall!

2. Boy, I'm starving for a new joke. What's your favorite one?

3. I'd like to take my wife out for a great fish dinner. Do you have any recommendations?

4. I noticed your daughter has her ears pierced. My little girl is about her age. How did she react?

5. I see you're wearing a tour jacket. Did you go to that concert last night?

6. I noticed you walking out of the hair salon across the way. Who do you use over there?

7. It looks like those bags are heavy! Would you like me to hold them while you look around?

8. I couldn't help but overhear you and your friend talking about that new movie. I was planning on seeing it. How is it?

9. Do you have an update on the game?

10. I see you're driving a Honda, how does it perform?

How Have You Been Opening?

Opening the sale may be the most important part of the selling process and is the key to what transpires throughout the rest of your presentation. By effectively opening the sale, you can reduce resistance and enhance your ability to ask probing questions. How effective you have been in this area previously and have you given it enough thought?

Have you built a rapport with customers on a person-to-person basis? If you'll take the time to write 75-100 opening lines and practice them, you'll be at the cash register more than you ever have before. How you open the sale sets the tone for the remainder of the time you spend with the customer. Take a few extra seconds in the beginning to establish a person-to-person relationship with your customer. You'll find you have a customer that not only enjoys the process, but might spend a lot more money.